New Year Reflections

So it is almost 2009--ten years past partying like it was 1999. That's a bit scary. Just saying.

In my head I've been going over what I've done this past year and I do have to say that I am happy with it all. I began 2008 having just turned 30 and really wanted to get my act together so my 30s would not be so hectic as my 20s. When I turned 20 I went and got my tongue pierced. I also jumped out of an airplane, drove 1/2 way across the country with some friends, had a lot of fun with substances as only a 20-year old could, and picked up my second major in college. I guess the decade mark affects me more than I thought.

What did I do with 2008 (and 30)? I ran a half marathon, a series of road races in the dead of winter, completed an International Distance triathlon, ran a full marathon, lost 30 pounds, applied and was accepted into a second graduate program, successfully created a garden from scratch, coached a youth cheerleading team, and adopted two kittens.

Now with 2009 looming and 31 just settling in, I think that I need to do just that--settle into my life. I will still be running marathons (hopefully Boston in April), but I will be in school again one class at a time, and still working on my house, and trying to figure out (still) what the point of it all is. I think that 2009 will be a year of reflection in itself. My life reflecting forward. You are your actions, and the one resolution I plan to have this year is to be fully behind all my actions. Held responsible, thoughtful at all times, and knowing that everyone person that I have in my life is there for a reason.

Wasting time

I am not sure if the waiting room is the right place for me. I seem to be stuck here for quite some time now.

Long ago, I graduated college and accepted the only job that was offered to me at the time. Not being in the tech industry (this was before the bubble burst), there were not a lot of editorial positions open. Not wanting to work retail anymore, my first "professional" job was in the city, the most I've ever been paid--and a lot more money than I would have gotten had I stayed in Albany. The office environment was sterile, but I expected that. My boss was a nice woman who had years of experience, and I wanted to learn from her. But, about a year into my job, I realized that I hated it. Lucky for me, they gave me a raise, and I became happy again. Sort of.

This began the cycle of my professional career of complacency. The job was not too demanding, was an easy commute, and I was in the industry I wanted to be in. The subject matter, though, was nothing I ever wanted to work in, and one that I had actually spent most of my school years running away from: hard science. But it's Boston, and the sciences reign here. I took the time to go back to school (what, my office let me adjust my hours! cool), take on some part time teaching jobs (extra money!), and was promoted for just being there. Every time I thought about leaving, the bosses gave me another raise. Eight years later, I'm turning down jobs because no one can match my benefits and I'm not sure if I would be able to get used to working more than 35 hours a week. And by working I mean watching tv most afternoons, blogging, and flitting about the web.

If I tell you about my workday, you'd be jealous. I have my own office with a view of a beautifully landscaped courtyard, where I can go and eat lunch everyday--unless I am using the free gym three steps away with a full locker room and shower facility. My computer use is not monitored. Neither is my phone use. I talk to my sister and best friend 3 times a week for over an hour at a time. I'm out by 4:30 every day and have not taken work home in over 7 years. I've survived three bosses, and have also managed to pick up a freelance job within the building I work in editing submissions to other journals for one of the best Nutrition programs in the country.

But there is a dark reality to this place I am in. I finish working each day in about two hours. Tops. I know more about the industry than my boss and have to answer his questions. I have an assistant who drives me nuts, but I didn't want to hire her anyway. Even though I have no work to do, I can't leave early because my boss is a micromanager. My work is presented at meetings as my boss', and my opinions are overlooked then grabbed out of the air and claimed. I feel dumber each day for showing up.

I am in this waiting room right now of finding out if I am going to be admitted into a program that would be paid for entirely by my job, figuring out when to have children and use my amazing maternity benefits, and waiting for my boss to quit so I can take his job. But I'm not sure the day by day by day frustration and growing depression is worth it. I have better things to be doing with my time. Other places I could be.

Purgatory is really hell. Don't be fooled.

An email I sent out this morning

I do not usually send out political emails, so just stay with me here for a second.

With Sarah Palin nominated as the GOP VP this past week, many people do not know much about her. A friend of mine pointed me to this article [http://www.crosscut.com/politics-government/17341] that is actually written by someone from Palin's town who has known her and witnessed her political actions. I suggest that you read it to get a gist of who she is and what she stands for. At the bottom is a very clear cut, observational run down of her stances. The rest, admittedly, is not as unbiased, but it reads less so than a lot of media out there. Plus, the author gives several disclosures at the end.

Whether you are Rep. or Dem, it is important to know who exactly you are voting for and what they stand for and will bring into the government.

I am not going to write what I think about her as for those of you who know me you can pretty much tell what I would say in regards to her trying to censor books [my head exploded when I heard about that by the way], her actions in cutting special education support, opinions on gun control, environmental affairs, large government, and reproductive rights. I'm not writing what I think here because it's up to you to decide what you think what type of VP of this country deserves.

Get to know your candidates! The Boston Globe also profiles all candidates (just basic facts). http://www.boston.com/news/politics/2008/candidates/

Also, check out your party's websites:

http://www.rnc.org/
http://www.democrats.org/

This is an important election so make sure you vote!

Vacation

Vacation is looming like storm cloud. Destined for a whirlwind of activity before a calm aftermath.

I'm going to the wilderness of Maine. 45.1367, -68.1995. No phones. No computers. Limited electricity. Just books, fishing, and sunshine (hopefully). I plan on swimming in the lake every day, not think about work at all, and enjoy my first real vacation since my honeymoon in spring 2007. I will be officially vegging out.

My mind signs out in 3, 2, 1....

I'm gone

Switching one overexposed event for another

The above comic pretty much sums up what I began feeling last night as the DNC kicked off in Denver. The Olympics just ended. I would have preferred the DNC to be broadcast in two weeks. Just a small break, mixed in with the beginning of the fall tv line up, before I am accosted night and day with "live coverage from Denver!" However, it is only a few days, and I did watch last night. I saw Teddy Kennedy's intro by his niece and his speech, and even stayed up to watch Mrs. Obama's lovely talk. She's a great speaker, but didn't really surprise me with her speech. Of course she is going to back her husband. Of course she is going to tell tales of how much she admired her parents and the blue collar workers. What else could she say? It was heartfelt and inspiring. So, about half way during the speech I began cleaning up the house and getting ready for bed, when out of nowhere, because I had diverted my attention away from the DNC, my husband asked me when I became such a cynic. Really? Because I don't want to glorify every single Dem I'm a cynic? Well, I have things to do; so be it. I know who I'm voting for, and it hasn't been pretty speeches that swayed me. It's the issues. Education. War. ERA (hey, remember that old gender-equality agenda that has never been passed in Congress?). Health care. The Economy.

I'm a registered Democrat. A pretty strong one in that I agree with the majority of the party's ideals and support the candidates. I've been a registered voter since I was 18 and vote in town elections for the person I think can do the best job. I was a Hillary supporter but she lost. Bummer, cause I think she would have been a great president, but it's in the past. The Democrats now need to form a cohesive front that will beat the Republican candidate, Mr. John "Pro-Life, but I want a VP who is Pro-Choice because I can't stand up for what I really think because I risk losing the Christian Conservative voters of middle America" McCain. I don't agree with everything Obama is pushing in his agenda, but honestly, I do think it's better than the Republican party's ideals--and not to mention their already blossoming smear campaign against Obama and Biden.

I hope Obama wins. If he loses though, I'm hoping it won't be to McCain. Instead, I would be ok with a smaller party coming on strong and swaying the public over to their side. The Green Party. The Libertarians. I think this two-party system is a bit limiting in choice. American hasn't always been the Democrat/Republican duality that we know today. First there were the Federalists and Anti-Federalists. The Anti-Federalists became the Democrat-Republican party, which are the contemporary Democrats, making the Dems the oldest party in the country. The modern Republicans were formed in 1854 in response to the Kansas-Nebraska Act. Abraham Lincoln was the first contemporary Republican elected president. All two parties though. There was a short time in history when more than two fought for the ballot. These other parties over the years often developed during "political crisis" (such as the Civil War) and included the Whigs, the Free Soil Party, the Liberty Party, Green Party, and the American Party. There's more too. Alot more.

One of my favorites is the Libertarian party (founded in the 1970s), has Barr and Root are running in this election. Small government, low taxes, more freedoms. I can see how Libertarian ideals don't work on the scale of the entire US though. But perhaps it could. For all the change and hope that the Dems are pushing right now, I think that in order for change to really occur in this country it has to be big. When I came across the 38-State Map, I thought that it could be the first step in redefining this country. Voted down in Congress in the mid-1970s, this map aimed to correct the districting issues of the Electoral College and the concentration of populous in cities versus the sparsity of people in the Midwestern areas of the US. I think it was just pushed at the wrong time. 1976 was the 300th anniversary of the founding of our country. Not a great time to change the map again. But, perhaps this is the type of change the US really needs. After all, as a resident of Plymouth, I'm pretty sure I would still be within the Bostonian-belt of civilization.

But, until that day comes, I'm sure that my vote for Obama will start a change that will make this country stronger.

A new blog

I decided to start a blog today. Another one actually. For the past few months I have been blogging about gardening, but having to keep my writing plant and flower related is a little constricting, and I have no use for the myspace "blog" as I find myspace to a be a bit useless unless I'm bored and stalking people from my past. And I'm kind of over the whole stalking thing now. I just don't care at this point what the girl from the 2nd grade who sat next to me is doing. If they were really interesting I would be hearing about them on the news or at the very least on Cops. So this is my venue to free write. Publicly. Why so public? Cause it will motivate me a bit. I can write all I want in my journals, then bury them in a box to rediscover them in a few years, musty and broken, then get all freaked out at reading writing I don't recall writing. Or, I can use a free public venue to post my thoughts, perhaps gain some feedback, and maybe, just maybe, get off my ass and work towards a real body of work. This may not be interesting all the time, but there is a chance it will be at least on some days. Those days when I have free time at work (like now) due to a database malfunction or lack of task list, when staring out the window at the manicured courtyard gets boring. And my mind is working or wants to work.

There is no structured forum here, it's just my thoughts in random order. Sometimes wise, sometimes obvious. Enjoy.