Fat detox

My son turns one this weekend and I decided it was time to lose the extra weight I picked up carrying him around for 9 months. I'm nearly there...just 5 pounds until my pre-pregnancy weight. In the last year I've lost over 20 pounds but in last 6 months I've not lost one.

But I actually have a lot more to lose.

Before I got pregnant I had just finished training for 2 marathons. I was svelte and muscular. Now I run about once a week and am not svelte and muscular. I'm squishy. While I'm in all the clothes I was wearing this time two years ago, they don't fit quite right, and I know that I've been thinner.

I'm skipping over the fact I'm still wearing the same outfits 2 years later.

So I decided that I needed a jump start on my weight loss. I recently quit Weight Watchers after not losing 1 single pound despite paying for membership for 3 months. My friend out in Cali-lala emailed me this diet that she got from her yoga center.

I know, California. Yoga. Diet. It's sounds a little hippy dippy.

But I saw her a few weeks ago and she looked amazing. Thin. Tan. Fit.

Seeing as I can't really ever be tan, I'll settle for thin and fit.

The diet is fairly simple. Give up all the things you love and eat like an adult. But a hard ass adult who is concerned with fitness. You can eat all the vegetables you want, and most of the lower sugar fruits on the Glycemic index. You can also eat lean meats, but should buy organic to avoid any chemicals/hormones/whatever it is they do to meats these days.

But there are 4 rules that must be followed.

First, no alcohol. I can do that. And I know I will lose weight because of that. I love beer. Heavy imported beer with lots of yeast.

Second, no caffeine. I can do that, but not happily. I couldn't have caffeine while breastfeeding the little guy, so I've done that before.

Third, no wheat. Hmmm. A gluten free diet. I asked myself how much wheat do I really eat..it turns out my DNA probably has wheat meshed into it now. That's how much I eat. On day 1 I thought I was going to starve. I feel very bad for anyone who cannot process gluten because it is just yummy.

Fourth, no dairy. This made me nervous. I drink milk, eat cheese, and while I detest yogurt I eat it. No dairy. I had to consider this very seriously. I have a cheese drawer in my fridge.

But in the end, the bikini that arrived in the mail on Saturday really sealed the deal. It's skimpy. And I needed to lose a few pounds to look decent in it. Plus, I'm in a wedding in July and want to be feel confident in the strapless dress.

So Tuesday began day 1.

And what a frigging day it was. I woke up at 5 like normal and went about my routine. Instead of having a nice bowl of honey sunshine Kashi cereal and coffee I had 2 eggs and green tea. That's not so bad.

Except I was exhausted. Where the caffeine would have pushed me through the rest of my routine to get out of the house and on the train, the green tea did nothing. I called in sick, went back to bed, and slept until 11:30. When I woke up I was starving.

It was then I realized I did not do an important step in this diet. Clean out the fridge.

4 containers of milk, 5 bags of cheeses, a pie, butter, all the wrong fruits. My cabinets were full of crackers and bread. The only fruit I had were the highest on the glycemic index and banned. I wanted a cup of coffee bad. I got a headache. I took another nap.

A frozen Kashi dinner in the freezer saved me at dinner time. Coconut chicken with quinoa. I gnawed on a piece of lettuce and drank gallons of water and tea. The headache persisted through day 2.

Day 2 pretty much went the same except that I was more prepared at lunch and made a nice salad. Dinner was Indian food which was fine except for the white rice and piece of naan. But at that point it was cheat or completely give up. The piece of naan may be why day 3 is going so well. I have it stored in the very fat cells I'm trying to detox and shrink.

Today, day 3, I will make it through the day. I'm armed with decaf coffee, the memory of warm naan, and 2 pounds weight loss in 2 days.

That alone is enough to convince me to keep going.