Birthday weekend

The mid point of the 30s looms. On Sunday I will be 35, and it seems like such a big number. If I look back 20 years I'm a teenager. That's freaky.

I love my 30s though. They are fun and stable, a time where I have grown more than ever. In this past year I have worked on my career more than ever before. I found myself pulling all nighters, routinely working until 1 or 2 am and putting out work that I was consistently proud of. I pulled in my dream gig, even though it was only temporary. Who knew I wanted to write history textbooks so badly!?

As the project wound down, I saw that I had a severe imbalance in my life. I hadn't ignored my family so much as compartmentalized them. By putting my time into such chunks [journal work 8-4, commute 4-5:30, child time 5:30-7, meetings and writing 7-1, snooze, run 5-6, commute 6:30-8] work was being given the bigger chunks. My child grew and I saw him and noticed, I needed to be more present. So in not picking up another project right away, and by getting another day at home lessening my commute, I am trying to be present.

But wow is it hard. It's so hard I even took a course about life balancing. I saw I needed to change my goal and direction. Two years ago, I saw the perfect life as working at home with a baby on my lap. Well, that baby had grown into a charming and energetic toddler who doesnt want to sit on my lap. He wants me to chase him around soccer fields, play knights with him, and read. He is tired of the email chime on my phone because he knows I have to pause in our search for the dragon. November was a month for me to realign myself, but of course the universe threw more at me to deal with.

Stomach bugs, overscheduled weekends, holidays, bad family news, depression. Over half of my calendar has things written on it to do. Even putting away clothes has bogged me down (you do not want to see the floor of my room right now--in fact, you can't). And the littlest thing is setting me off.

So, as I hit 35 this weekend, I am looking for a new perfect life vision. I know it has to do with writing, but the list of what I don't want or will put up with anymore is forcing me to look beyond what I've been doing and take some risks. I am hoping I am prepared.

Fall injuries

It's race season! The first weekend of fall I cruise through CoolRunning.com and try to fill up my weekend with races. 5ks, 10ks, half-marathons. This year I've added some obstacle course races as well.From September 8 through November 18 I'm already signed up for 6 races and will probably add 4 more. Then, once I push pay for the non-refundable course fees, I get injured.

OK, it didnt go quite like that, and I've already done 3 of my races. But the point is, my leg freaking hurts. It's been hurting since August. I have plantar fasciitis which is a new sciencey way of saying I'm old and my arches have fallen. When your arches fall it affects the your calf. The only cure is to stretch along, stop running and/or tape up your foot to create new arches. Which is what I've been doing. But it still feels like a knife is being pushed into my heel and that my Achilles may snap.I gave it a rest the last weeks of August and borrowed one of those rolly things to massage it (ouch) and it's better. The pain now radiates up my leg, but less intensely.

All summer I trained and didnt race. It was too hot, I was too busy. Now that I'm ready to compete Im hurt. Nothing has made me feel old like this ever. Not even my joints popping when I reach to get something off the floor.

But, despite being in pain, I did the Shape Diva Dash in Boston, the Maynard 5K, and the Orchard House 10K. One was easy, one I was hung over for, and the other I was tired for but glad I did and made my secondary goal (which is the realistic one). I am not hitting any PRs this year, but still have a half marathon or two to go.

Fall catalogs

I've been doing some online shopping recently. Just the basics really. Checkbooks, glasses, blinds, and a new lunch box for my son. But because I've been shopping, I'm starting to see some catalogs come in. Yesterday I got the fall JCrew "lookbook". I glanced through it this morning to see if I need anything from it. Their clothes are pretty expensive and thankfully there was only one piece I would consider (I love their boat neck shirts!).  But just looking through it made me really happy about one thing. Not having time to do my hair each morning. It appears that messy is OK.

I am going to copy the models of JCrew and not brush my hair. Instead I'll continue to wear it up in a messy bun and believe that I am glamorous.

Thank you JCrew for not photoshopping the flyaways on your models. It makes me feel like your clothes are normal, even if I think $150 is way way way too much for a button down shirt.

Mid-August you sly fox

And it's August. Sorry, half way through August. A second ago it was June. I swear.

However, I've come up for air. The past 6 months I've been drowning myself in work and I'm ready for the cool breezes of fall to come and clar my plate. We went camping the first week of Augsut and for the first time in a long while I did nothing. I had no work to do (well, I wasn't going to do it!), and I was surrounded by water and nature. I napped in a hammock. Really.

I feel like it's the new school year. Even though I want the warm weather to stick around, I got excited when I saw the farmers market had apples last week! I'm not rushing time forward at all, just trying to enjoy it more.

Adopting a phone

I broke my phone again. I really feel like it's broken more than it's working. This time I dropped it on my driveway. This would not have been such an issue if the case had not broken a few weeks ago (from being dropped) and the screen went dead. I just had the screen fixed. And, in the time from having my screen fixed to now (about 6 weeks) I voided the warranty by leaving the phone outside while their was a brief sun shower. I nearly got to it in time. I even got to see the battery marker turn red when it got wet. Once it's red the phone is pretty much worth $10. They told me yesterday.

So, it landed on my driveway. We were going blueberry picking and the people we were supposed to meet there had canceled on us already so the only thing I would have used my phone for was pictures. I designated husband for pictures and we picked just over 15 pounds in about 1 1/2 hours. No pictures were taken.

After blueberries I decided I needed to get a new phone right away. I work from my phone a lot, so it is essential that I have access to my work emails from the beach. Otherwise I need to go into the office on Wednesdays which is NOT going to happen. I'm currently working on a way to get out of the office more.

We hit the Sprint store at Solomon Pond Mall and I cut right to the chase. I needed the same phone, a Samsung Epic 4G. It has a slide out key board which is very handy for taking notes when I am doing my reporter gig. On screen keyboards just don't cut it. The guy of course tries to sell me the newer version, the Galaxy S3. It's an iphone. With no slide out keyboard. I immediately say no and tell him to get me my phone. Then I hear a gurgle next to me. Husband is drooling over new phone.

And he is ready to make a deal. He hands me his phone (we have matching phones not because it's cute but because the Epic is, in fact, EPIC). He will get the new S3 and I can have his phone. 

Fine.

The S3 is so light, it would have shattered in my hands in an instant. I don't use any of my electronics to their full potential, so the techiness would have been wasted on me. Plus, I know how to use the Epic. We left the Sprint store all a bit happier.

And I got all his apps! And emails. You know your husband trusts you when he wipes his phone but still leaves you access to his email and credit card.

Happy 4th!

It's nearly the 4th of July!

This morning I laid out my son's clothes for my husband to get him ready and was deciding between his two 4th of July shirts. One is the standard Old Navy flag shirt and the other is a skull wearing a Uncle Sam hat with blue stars where his eyes should be. I love both shirts, but seeing as the daycare lady probably thinks Im weird already, I sent him in the flag shirt. He can rock the skull shirt tomorrow.

And is it disturbing or awesome that they make a skull/Uncle Sam hat shirt for 2 year olds? I'm pretty sure there was nothing like that when I was a 2. Unless your older brother/cousin/uncle hand painted one for you before they rode off on their motorcycle.

Also, I bought this shirt not at a rock concert or t-shirt stand in the park. I got it at the Children's Place. It's a pretty mainstream store. But for some reason this year, skulls are acceptable. I think it came out of the whole pirate phase America is in (which I love).

But, happy 4th! I am taking all day off from writing and editing and will just go to yoga, get a new mattress, garden, and then attend a traditional 4th of July BBQ.

Who's got the fireworks?!

Making up for lost time

Admittedly I spent the first 10 years of my job not doing too much. I used to complain about being bored, watching TV, etc.

Get me the freaking time machine to go back and slap myself.

I've been buried under work since late March. As in working until 1 AM, stressed, constantly tired. I have another 8 weeks to go, and then will gladly revert to staring out the window. I feel like I'm paying for all the work I did easily!

Not only do I not have time to do personal writing, but my exercise routine, sleep, and child rearing have suffered. It's too much!

8 more weeks....8 more weeks!