I did not eat meat today. Yet. I'm pretty sure I won't, which is silly because I've been eating meat every Friday during Lent, and haven't even attended church since my son was baptized last October.
But it just feels wrong to eat meat on Good Friday.
I grew up Irish Catholic and I attended a Catholic elementary school where I was taught by nuns and had to learn all the rules. I can tell you the holy days of obligation, many of the saints' feast days, and all the sacraments. Prayers roll off my tongue even though if I stopped to think about the words I would draw a blank. I don't like to hold hands during the Our Father because we didn't do that in my church. I automatically kneel at certain parts of the mass where my congregation knelt, even if the church I'm in doesn't kneel. And, when I kneel I keep a straight back and don't lean on the seat because the nuns used to poke you when you did that.
But now...well, I haven't been to church on a non-holiday (Christmas or Easter) in a very long time. And haven't been to even a holiday mass in a while. I wouldn't say I lost faith, but I am not in favor of all the rules to be honest. Even this rule of not eating meat--and I think that Good Friday is actually a fasting day. I'm not eating meat today because it was pounded into my head that I shouldn't. Not because it would be of great sacrifice for me not to...which I think the whole point of not eating meat is a reminder of the sacrifice of Jesus.
It seems fishy to me.
[Like what I did there? Cause you can eat fish on Fridays during Lent but not meat!]
I like the idea of the mysteries of the faith, but find that organized religion asks you to be limiting in what you believe. The Bible is a nice book of stories, but no, I don't think it's all true. You want to take something from the Bible and live by it as a rule, great. Go for it. Just don't make it the I'm going to stone to death anyone who practices a different religion. [Deuteronomy 13:6-1 and 17:1-7]
However, I will admit that I pray every night. But it's no longer the Catholic prayers of my youth as much as it is sending a thank you out there to the universe along with a collection of good thoughts for my family and friends. I'll ask for some special attention for those who need it. I'm big on the power of prayer, and think I would have done really well in the ancient days of praying to trees and the sky. I like the idea of praying to a tree.
Basically though, I guess I'm just sending out the good vibes. I'm pretty sure Jesus would be OK with that. Even I am skipping church this Easter Sunday.
I'm having fish for dinner though. I just feels right.
4 weeks ago