No thanks. I really don't want your parenting advice. If I did, I would ask for it.
If I have asked you, then you are free to commence the lecture you have planned, and I will be ok if you pull notes out of your purse or back pocket. I may even take notes myself. If I'm asking you it means I trust and value your opinion, or remember you and your child having a similar problem/issue that I am encountering now.
But unsolicited advice is not welcome. You see, not only do I have a whole bunch of books offering me advice on the "standards" of child raising, I also have a natural instinct that most mothers have.
Basically, it's the make sure your child doesn't die or kill anyone instinct.
These are my goals each day. 1. A breathing, healthy child. 2. Ensure that he is well adjusted enough that he doesn't one day go on a rampage and stomp on other children.
Being that I have never gone on a stomping rampage or killed anyone, I am going to trust that I have the minimal social skills needed to survive in society. I think that with the help of my husband and our daycare providers we can pass these skills on to our son.
So, if you think that I should give my child whole milk now, that's he's too old for breastfeeding at 11 months, should have that potato chip, should put on the extra sweater, shouldn't play with the cabinets, or shouldn't jump down the step to the porch...
I don't care if you've raised 7 children or none, are just pregnant and reading all the scary books, or are a single man living with your various hook-ups in New York City. Any advice you give me on things that are not your business I will be ignoring. I will stare right through you as though you did not exist and perhaps even kick you accidentally. If I have offered you food, I may take it back and throw it out right in front of you.
I've had it.
The only time I will take your unsolicited advice is on safety updates. As in, did you hear about the car seat/formula/high chair recall?
This does not include having blankets in the crib or whether or not I should allow my son to jump on the bed. Because I encourage both. That's not an update, it's your opinion.
I will also take references on reading materials from experts who have researched the effects of highly processed food on the development of children, psychological articles about weaning and stages of brain development, and perhaps even the parenting articles on whether or not X, Y, and Z shoes are better for the bones of toddler. But let's face it, I'm more likely to give you those article references.
And to my good friend who is due TODAY!! I promise not to give you unsolicited advice. If you ask, I will tell you what I did, and that is that. I can't promise I did the right thing always, but if you are asking me, I'm gonna trust that you have some faith in the way I am raising my son.
4 weeks ago